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Halloween Tricks for Post-Millennials

October 29, 2014
Necco Wafers? Really? Diminutive Knight, prepare the flaming bag of poo.

Necco Wafers? Really? Diminutive Knight, prepare the flaming bag of poo.

Then

Ring and run.

Now

Steal homeowner’s Apple ID, delete their iTunes music library, fill instead with entire collection of 26 Kidz Bop albums.

Then

Toilet paper a tree.

Now

Photoshop homeowner’s face on naked selfies of disgraced New York congressman Anthony Weiner. Snapchat to all area middle school friends, plus local and regional news organizations.

Then

Egging a house.

Now

Hack homeowner’s Facebook. Share Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” video repeatedly.  Frequently comment on other people’s posts using nothing but stickers. Retroactively “like” every James Franco post ever. Thoroughly alienate family and friends.

Then

Smashing pumpkins

Now

Phish homeowner’s online banking password. Launder their life savings through shadowy offshore accounts. Use money to buy a shitload of Xbox games.

Then

Shaving cream attack

Now

Remote-activate homeowner’s webcam. Secretly record hours and hours of video featuring homeowner in embarrassing, unguarded moments. Launch most successful YouTube channel ever.

Then

Flaming bag of poo.

Now

Flaming bag of poo.

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