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A Pep Talk to Palin Before Her Tea Party Speech

February 8, 2010

“How’s that hopey, changy thing working out for ya’?” – Sarah Palin, whipping up the crowd at the nation’s first Tea Party Convention in Nashville, TN. 

When it seems like you’re losing their attention to the hot dog stand, invoke the name of Ronald Reagan. That always gets them. Like Pavlov’s dogs to the bell.

Remember, its Tea Party activism, NOT Tea Bagger activism. You’re always getting those two confused.

They aren’t actually serving tea. You know that, right?

This “hopey changy” line, it’s very provocative. You should be prepared for lash back. People on the left might point out that “hope and change” are favorable to “despair and stagnation.” If you get any of that, just mention Ronald Reagan.

Some liberal pundits have started referring to you as The P-word. While it connotes something vaguely filthy and unmentionable, it’s also quite catchy. We think you should embrace it. If you really want some social media style points, whenever you hear it you should grab your crotch and shout out “The P-Situation!” It’s a Jersey Shore thing. Trust me, the people will go wild.

The whole “mavericky” thing…we took a poll. You need to drop it. Even your mother says so.

What’s that written on your hand? Crib notes? Nice! Let’s see them…”Energy”, that’s good. “Lift Americas Spirits,” can’t argue with that. “Budget Cuts”…hmmm. Might want to cross out “Budget” and say “Tax” instead. The budget is a very complicated thing, Ms. Palin. We’ve seen your checking account, and we wouldn’t go there. In politics, it’s called an “Achilles Heel.” It’s a greeky mythy thing.

Scott Brown called. He would like you to stop sexting him.

You have some toilet paper stuck to your shoe. There you go. Good! Now give ‘em hell, P-word!


Yes, that really is Palin’s hand. Photo taken by Reinke/AP, linked from (see the story here:

One Comment leave one →
  1. Suzanne permalink
    February 8, 2010 10:27 pm

    love this, sean!!!

    ; -)

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